The first time I heard the word "incongruency" I had to google it.
"A discrepancy between our perceived and ideal self."
Yeah, sounds about right. I've come to find that this seems to be more prevalent in women than in men. And who can guess what life events exacerbate this condition?
Becoming a mother and pursuing a big dream.
Sit with that for just a minute.
Joyce Meyer calls it "new levels new devils". When we stretch ourselves and our perception of what is possible in our lives suddenly we are confronted by resistance, self-doubt and fear. "Who am I to think I can do this BIG THING?" You've heard the phrase Imposter Syndrome. Well it's a real thing and it is keeping us in a state of struggle and keeping us STUCK.
After 40 years of telling myself "I'm not good with kids" I became a stepmom of twins. I felt the incongruency like a punch in the face every morning. 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐋𝐄. I had to level up my thinking. I had to realize that I had created the lie "I'm not good with kids" in an effort to protect myself from the heartache of possibly never becoming a mother.
When I started Beautiful Edge Photography I realized that I couldn't find a voice that "felt" right for my brand. I felt like a person pretending to be a business owner..."now what would that sound like?" 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐋𝐄. Everything felt inauthentic and awkward. I was looking at what other business owners were doing and then mimicking them. I was like a bad xerox copy of myself from a machine that was low on ink.
One of the most glorious moments of my life was when I realized that the struggle was of my own making. It wasn't only unnecessary, it was sabotaging the life I was meant to lead.
I don't know if anyone will read this but I am finding my voice and uncovering my deep desire to help other women find theirs so I'm going to keep writing if that's ok with you. It's here if you ever need it.
To shorten this down to a sound bite - To achieve all that you were made for in this life - hard work is necessary, but struggling is totally optional.